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The Book Signing

by Aaron Lazar

Tomorrow night is my first Local Writers Fair. I’ve been looking forward to this one for a long time. Ten authors will gather in a little room behind tables full of books in a historic library in Canandaigua, N.Y. It’s been advertised heavily and the excitement has been building for weeks.

Just for this occasion, I bought a new table cover from the fabric department at Walmart. It’s a deep, cobalt blue with a fine pattern. The black-framed photos of the Genesee Valley will stand against the blue. I hemmed and hawed, solicited “how to buy this stuff” help from the nice lady behind the counter (who, by the way, is an avid mystery fan) and finally bought four yards of it. Twelve feet????? Yeah, but it’ll work. Better to have too much than too little. Kind of my gardening philosophy extended into the world of fabric!

Anyway, this morning I started to worry about what to wear. What to wear? Not typically a subject I get too concerned about… I looked in the closet and sighed. What do “authors” wear? Black turtlenecks and corduroys? Heck no, not for May. A plaid wool shirt and a pipe to chew on? Nope. It’s spring, for goodness sakes! So, I settled on a long-sleeved black button down shirt and camel-colored Dockers.

I even took out the tooth-whitening paraphernalia last night. Me? Worried about white teeth? Well, heck, I’m gonna be smiling all over the place. I can’t have disgusting yellow teeth! So, I suffered during sleep with the set of molds on my teeth with all that white goo sliding around in my mouth. I woke up with the bottom set missing! Finally, I found it under my pillow. And no, there was no quarter from the tooth fairy.

I drove to work this morning, going through my mental checklist. Bookmarks. Books. Handouts. Poster. Scotch tape to hang the poster. Double-sided tape to keep the fabric from sliding off the table. Suddenly I felt this little itchy bump on my nose. I looked in the rear view mirror and there it was! A monstrous cold sore was forming RIGHT on top of my nose! It’s a noteworthy one this time, a good quarter inch plus in size. It’s gonna be a whopper. Kind of makes me look like a drunk.

So, with whitened teeth, carefully selected clothes, a beautiful table cover, I will smile and chat with this remarkably noticeable nose and hope that they look at the cover of Double Forte’ more than they do my ugly mug. I feel like I’m fourteen again.

Aaron Paul Lazar resides in Upstate New York with his wife, three daughters, two grandsons, mother-in- law, two dogs, and four cats. After writing in the early morning hours, he works as an electrophotographic engineer at NexPress Solutions Inc., part of Kodak's Graphic Communications Group, in Rochester, New York. Additional passions include vegetable, fruit, and flower gardening; preparing large family feasts; photographing his family, gardens, and the breathtakingly beautiful Genesee Valley; cross-country skiing across the rolling hills; playing a distinctly amateur level of piano, and spending “time” with the French Impressionists whenever possible. Although he adored raising his three delightful daughters, Mr. Lazar finds grandfathering his “two little buddies” to be one of the finest experiences of his life. Double Forte', the first in the series, was published in January 2005. Upstaged, number two, is in production. With eight books under his belt, Mr. Lazar is currently working on the ninth, which features Gus LeGarde and his family. http://www.legardemysteries.com

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